SHANTERTAINMENT

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Oscar Season Review -- WarHorse

WarHorse is a very traditional movie. There isn't a single element of surprise in it, except for its extreme sentimentality and nostalgia. For the first 20 minutes or so I was waiting for the joke -- the irony, the wink. When it never came I was actually a little uncomfortable. This movie is as straight as straight can get. I found ithe meandering, boys falling in love at first sight with a horse both predictable and somewhat laughable. There were some nice heartfelt stories but the music and direction was just so heavy handed. I was bored throughout this movie. I think you can catch it on TBS in four years in between hangover naps and be just fine. 

Why Can't I Blog?

I haven't blogged since the Oscars last year. I feel a constant sense of guilt and regret about this, but still can't compell myself to get out the old keyboard most nights. Here are some of the reasons I've identified:

• Time Shifting. I like to blog about TV shows, most of all. Unfortunately I very rarely watch TV when I am supposed to. I'm usually days if not weeks behind. So when I get the inspiration to write something, it's too late. It's no longer relevent. I'm going to make an effort to watch things more on time. But we'll see!
• Info Overload. Starting with Twitter and moving all the way around the internet, is there any need for what little old me has to say? I doubt it. But I don't care much. 
• Computer Fatigue. I'm in front of a computer all day at work, so it just doesn't usually sound that fun to do get on the computer again at night. 
• General Laziness. Enough said. 

So ... enough excuses. I'm back. If anyone is still with me, I'll try and find some things to say. 

Oscar 2011 Review: The Hosts

Sadly, James Franco and Anne Hathaway were not good.  I can see the impulse that led to their hiring. James is endearing on funnyordie, talk shows and General Hospital. Anne is a triple threat who basically auditioned when she did her number with Hugh Jackman. They are younger, presumably hipper, and definitely prettier. I had high hopes after the two started on the interview circuit and began the commercials. They had a great rookie enthusiasm and energy that was different from what we've seen from hosts in the past. But that energy did not translate to the show. 

The first problem: James.  He was nothng but what he is.  He's always been a slacker with a vague pothead vibe and a sense of humor that didn't quite add up. We were amused by his five different university programs, stint on the soap and novella.  In that amusement we built him up to be more than who he is. The minute he came out with zero energy and a dazed expression, I realized that we'd been wrong to expect anything else.

The second problem: Anne. The anti-James -- over to his under. Too much to his too little.  I read someone say that she was likely overcompensating for her toned down host. But she came off frantic and a little crazed. As blah as he was, she came off even worse in some ways -- for isn't annoying worse than boring? And I'm sorry, but "On My Own?" wasn't funny, or timely. Just seemed like a total ego moment for her.

The third problem: the timing.  Maybe it was their styles absolutely not meshing, but they seemed to work against each other, not with each other. Never more egregiously than after the Melissa Leo speech.  They came out with competing lines, then said them at the same time. Then had to repeat them. It was the sort of conversational blunder that is OK in front of four people, but not so much in front of a billion. A simple convo before going out -- or just deciding on who's the lead in each situation -- was needed. Too much leeway was given to them, clearly.

The fourth problem: the writing. They got no help whatsoever. There was so much made of the fact that they weren't comedians, so they didn't want to try and be comedians. But unfortunately no one figured out what they would be. They had a cute opening movie skit -- more from positioning than from anything they did -- but they had nothing else to work with.

The fifth problem: the expectations. For some reason the expectations for the hosts of the Oscars are always huge, despite the fact that great, funny, famous people have been unable to make anything of it. Truth be told there was little they could do to become heroes with this gig.

So there you have it: my review is that they were not good. I don't hate them for not being good and I think that the online audience may have been a bit too strong in their passion about how not good they were.

Golden Globes Indecision

January Jones -- I sort of loved it. I also thought it was way too revealing and a little bit slutty. But, I sort of loved it.

Sandy Bullock -- I didn't find her dress very flattering, but it was sure pretty and sparkly. Her hair was cute but her make up was excessive and made her face seem a little surgified.

Piper Perabo -- Kind of love the lipage and the ponytail and the bow....was it enough or was the dress too blah? Probably blah. But good work on that other stuff.

Mila Kunis -- I have a girl crush on you, yet still can't come up wth anything to say about your dress, positive or negative.

Amy Adams -- loved for the most part, in fact nothing negative because the color and ruffles were all great...however nothing terribly special to discuss.

Megan Fox -- same as Amy, loved the color and the bandage style of the bodice, just not as good as the "best."

Juliana Marguilies -- I LOVED this dress. The black bodice and pink skirt were a nice twist.

Leighton Meester --This dress did not seem like a formal dress. It looked awesome on her but hard to give the credit to the dress, which was brown, long sleeved and  pretty basic. But when the split revealed her gams, and her hair combined with her coloring to show you...it was a good look overall.

Some Random Thoughts

Best Presenting Pair -- Steve Carrell and Tina Fey, again

Best Presenter -- RDJ

Worst Presenting Pair -- Chris something and Chris something....they are here to raise their profile and instead we don't know who is who and who's in what. Putting the two unknown Chris's together proved to be a bad idea.

Best Looking Older Lady -- Jane Fonda, insanely trim and hot

Best Random's Dress -- Katey Segal. How can you not like her after all these years. And her dress was different and interesting, she looked great in it. OK, it was a little hooterific, but she looked nice.

Best Ricky G. Joke -- Overall, they were many and I was madly in love with him, even if Angelina disagrees. But the best was introducing Bruce Willis as Ashton Kutcher's dad.

Most Emotional Win -- Chris Colfer from Glee made me cry. Not because he was that emotional but because his so team was!!

 

Best Dressed at the Golden Globes

Emma Stone and Claire Danes -- Both in Calvin Klein Collection. Both so tailored and smooth in a world of ruffly bigness. All of a sudden, the antidote. Both also in attention getting, unique colors that we didn't see on another dress. I feel that CK won the night with these two dresses. And of course the flawless figures that can pull off the every-flay-showing sheathe looks. Not sure which is tougher. That halter on Claire is serious -- and she's so thin. But the full coverage of Emma's gives absolutely no leeway.

Lea Michele -- Loved the structured ruffles, the pink, the one shoulder, the side train. She hits it out of the park once again!

Hailey Stanfield -- The best under 18 we've seen in years. Shape and class without going above her age level.

Catherine Zeta Jones -- It pains me to say it because CZJ is so annoying, but her green, full skirt number was both classic and on trend (green) for the night.

Julie Bowen -- Loved the taupe dress with flowers and pretty adornments. She looked both elegant and trendy.

Tina Fey -- Truthfully, more a most improved than best dressed. But the blue was beautiful and the ruffled sleeve interesting. And I loved the way the dress pooled at her feet.

Olivia Wilde -- I was unsure all night if this dress was too much. Until the last shot of the Social Network win when you could spot her in the ballroom for no good reason. This dress was lovely, it was noticable and it was fun.

Worst Dressed at the Golden Globes

Natalie Portman -- The dress itself is only disappointing, unflattering and unfashionable. The rose makes it ridiculous and painful. The red accessories were cute on their own but the dress was atrocious.

Michelle Williams -- Hippie pathetic. So super disappointing from her. And can't wait for all the mags to pretend it's ok because it's Valentino!! It was a preteen disaster.

Halle Berry -- Demi Moore biker shorts reminsicent. Trying so hard to be hot and sexy when you are Halle Berry and hottest and sexiest, it's not necessary. You are not Blake Lively -- you have nothing to prove!!

Anne Hathaway -- Dynasty shoulder pads.

Scarlett Johansson -- The hair is RIDICULOUS.

Julianne Moore -- We can all get behind one shoulder. One arm? With half a necklace? We are not down with that.

Helena Bohnham Carter -- Crazy is not a style. Or an excuse.