I Think Knocked Up Sucks Big Time

I am sorry, American critics and moviegoers. We seem to have a major disagreement. See, I went to "Knocked Up" expecting hilarity and heart. Instead I got one of the first movies I wanted to walk out of in a really long time. It wasn't offensive. Even worse, it was frickin' BORING. But more specficially, here are five reasons I really hated "Knocked Up."

1.  Bickering is not fun to watch.  Remember the worst parts of "The Break Up"? Where, sure it's realistic couple fighting, but who wants to pay to watch that for five minutes instead of just going home and not doing the dishes themselves? "Knocked Up" is a lot like that. The guy is a prototypical moron. She's totally shrill. (Much like Izzy.) Watching them yell at each other constantly is boring and annoying. Even if they are yelling hilarious things like "go fuck your bong." And when the two main people aren't yelling, the sub-couple sister/husband are doing the bickering. It's quite defeating.

2.  It is not funny. This possibly should be number one, but the annoying and shrill-ness of it is what made me almost leave, not the lack of funny. The lack of funny is what perplexes me about the great things I've heard from so many people. I'll chalk some of it up to not having any kids. But really, is the search for a good gynecologist really ever going to be that funny to me? And yes, even I know it's likely that your actual doctor won't deliver your baby. I guess I just don't think that fact, in and of itself, warrants hours of "ha ha" social commentary. There were two somewhat amusing supporting characters -- and this is a real stretch: Marshall from "How I Met Your Mother" had some funny line deliveries. And the Target girl from SNL, doing the same thing she always does, made me smirk, if not smile. But overall, I didn't find this funny at all. From the weird pink eye and mushrooms moments to the old lady needing to get into a club, just nothing amusing about it.

3. His friends. First off, the whole idea of their web site isn't funny. It's an obvious excuse to use the words bush and boobs as many times as they can. And the pot-headedness of them, also not funny. But more, it seems totally outdated. Like these are 20-something slackers the way a 30-something slacker would write them. Even the web site idea is quaint. Is that really what young slackers are out there doing now? This kind of web site? Or am I missing the great joke -- that they are stuck in '99? If so, it's not funny. Sorry. And their big running joke about the guy with the beard? Not funny.

4.  The plot. Being a hot on-air personality who gets knocked up by a loser does have some comic potential. We just never see it. The girl cries once and then complains about her body before getting a crib. Fascinating. No baby shower with people saying funny things, or co-workers speculating on the daddy situation, or even a bad parent reaction. No, pretty much smooth sailing. Pretty much it says that the only complicated thing about getting knocked up by a loser/stranger is getting that stranger to get his own apartment before the baby comes! Don't even get me started on that.

5.  God, it's depressing. This movie has a very negative and depressing outlook on love, monogamy and family. I love Paul Rudd, and I don't blame him, he did a great job playing the married guy who was so looking for alone time he kept lying to his wife so he could go to movies or a fantasy baseball draft. But if he's every man, the outlook is pretty bad. After he gets kicked out of the house, he makes his way back because, hey, isn't that the way it's supposed to be? And the main couple -- the romance in this romantic comedy -- didn't belong together at all. They had nothing in common. Near as I can tell, she was only with him because he knocked her up and she was desperate. She never actually liked him. He seemed to like her hot-ness. For some reason I find it sad.

So those are the main five. I'll accept it's a "comedy" so won't nitpick on all the ridiculous details that would NEVER happen -- pretending not to be pregnant at your job and them being OK with that, asking the stranger who may have knocked up you to go with you to gynecology appointments, etc. And the missed comic opportunities are their problem, not mine. My bottom line is that high expectations may have played a role here -- but I think "Knocked Up" sucked and am sorry I wasted my time on it.

Comments

[Els]

It was absolute dreck, and made me seriously wonder what I might have (if anything) in common with all those people who so adored the movie. I loathed The Break Up, too.

[Vertigo]

thankyou!
I'm fresh out of this movie, and went straight to my pc and googled 'knocked up' sux.

I feel as though something has been chewing on my soul for a few hours and I want that piece of my soul back, if not my few hours. It was mind-numbingly boring, and more. It was boring and irritating, like being stuck at a wedding table for 5 hours with complete strangers bickering on all sides who you couldn't care less about, and worse, the bride sat you there because she thought you would relate to these morons, and you're kind of offended by that too.

There was a totally weird vibe about this movie - it was like the plot was a big lie, the characters were a big lie, and we're meant to believe it. I REALLY thought that in the end they would work out they truly sucked and shouldn't be together, as that was what the movie was OBVIOUSLY telling us. But no!
I don't know. Perhaps some people liked it because all they could see was the concentrated dose of unhappy parents/marriage insults they need to vent through. But to anyone else in happy singledom or a loving relationship, we just see a bunch of 'high school play' quality characters that in real life we avoid at a party hoping to god we don't get caught in a conversation listening to them whine about their base-camp relationship.
NOT FUN.

Vert :)
http://www.redbubble.com/people/Bootee

[bryan]

I could not agree more. I found this movie to be insufferable. I gave ti a second watch thinking I missed something, only to find more reason whys i hated it. It was completely nonsensical, and worse yet it just kept going. One of the worst things Ive ever seen, complete garbage

[T]

I saw this flick in the theater and thought is sucked!!! I was so apprehensive after that to see another Apatow movie. I though Superbad was pretty good,...saw it on On Demand though. Can't believe it did so well at the box office. Glad some one posted a blog about this horrible, unfunny slop of a movie.

[Justin]

Thank you for these comments. Thought I was alone on this one 'til finding this site. I watched Knocked Up and would have to say it is in the lowest 10% of movies I have seen and I have seen plenty (36yr old). Rogen's character has a smugness which made me want to punch him in the face for being such an idiot; Heigl's character was so annoying that it made me less annoyed at Rogen's character. Rogen's friends in this twatfest are equally annoying. WTF is with H-wood and these plots that glorify or at least give a rubber stamp to people acting like idiots. I know, it was a "comedy," but comedies are supposed to be both funny and tragic, not just tragic. This movie was just stupid. All I was thinking about during was how bad it would suck to have Rogen and Heigl as my mom and dad if I was the baby!!! Their characters as scripted would be the worst parents ever!!! Heigl was much better in "The Ringer" as the girlfriend of Johnny Knoxville, and Rogen was better in Superbad, so they both can act, I guess. Apatow needs a reality check. His movies (inc. Superbad) have some funny-ish elements, but need someone to get his head out of his/her *** in the editing or scripting dept. Because BS dialogue that makes no sense SUCKS--just like Knocked Up. By the way pot was funny--in the 80s...

[Brian]

I'm so glad that I don't have to get a blog. I just type in google something like "knocked up sucks" and find someone who said it for me. I actually found this movie in a rotten tomatoes best 10 of 2007 list. I am just blown away by how shitty it was. The only part I laughed at was the mushroom chair trip

[Matt]

I agree almost totally. I did think Ben's friends were slightly amusing, but other than that I was overwhelmingly disappointed. I was expecting great and got a little below OK. And FYI I have 2 children (the first one in a situation similar to Ben and Allison's)and having children didn't help me enjoy the movie.

[Rishi K]

Thank you. I'm tired of saying, "Oh but if i see it again, I may change my mind like I did with 40 Year Old Virgin."

Everyone and their mother liked this movie. And for the life of me, I thought it was disappointing and you nailed all those points perfectly.