SHANTERTAINMENT

Goodbye, Eli

These days, sometimes my "favorite" shows sneak up on me. These are the shows I don't think about often and never talk about. They have no buzz and I always forget to mention them. But when I grab the Tivo remote and see all the crap there...they are the shows I always want to watch -- actually get excited about and then slowly start to look forward to. Eli Stone was one of these shows. I never once looked at Eli on the list and bypassed it for later. It's a show I wanted to watch no matter how hungover, tired or multitasking I was. The law stuff was compelling enough, sure, but Eli and his brain anyeurism-causing "visions" made me happy.  This was a show without cynicism, that was unrepentent about its optimism, and ultimately, faith. Yes - a show that was unafraid to be about God. Watching Eli Stone never failed to make me happy. Sometimes it was a little much, sure. But it wasn't boring. It was inspiring. OK, OK, I admit I also tuned in for the love story of Eli and Maggie. I'm predictable. But this was built from the beginning on the faith of Maggie that Eli would do the right thing...with apologies to Nicholson, basically, she made him want to be a better man.

Of course, all this is for naught. Eli Stone was ruthlessly canceled because no one else was won over by its charming fantasy dream sequences and messages of hope and doing all you can to be a better person. I thought the finale was perfect -- heavy handed as ever but emotional and well intentioned. I prayed that Eli and Maggie would get some sense of closure, and of course, they did and it was -- what else? -- hopeful. I loved that Eli basically told "God" to take his soulmate Katie Holmes and shover her -- he loved Maggie. Yes, it was crowd pleasing, and there is nothing wrong with that. It pleased me, every episode every time.

From Hero to Zero

OK, calling Jason the Single Dad from “The Bachelor” a hero to begin with is a stretch. But we can all agree that he did not show the potential for douchey-ness that he ended up displaying at the conclusion of this season of the show.  He SEEMED like a nice guy, a bit of a cheese ball maybe, but a harmless, overly-emotional nice guy. But he wiped away two seasons worth of good will by pulling this “After the Final Rose” stunt.

First off, even after watching every episode of the show this season, neither of these two girls totally won me over. By the end, I liked both of them OK and truly didn’t care who he picked.  I felt a few weeks ago that he liked Melissa the best, and she is sweet and likable. And meanwhile Molly blended into the woodwork with a passion-free existence. Molly came on strong at the end and I believe that Jason was really torn about her – that he was surprised that he liked her so much since he was just keeping her around because she’s pretty. But whatever – this is a rare “Bachelor” case where I wasn’t truly rooting for one girl over another.

So, he picked Melissa. And her reaction was weird and fake and immediately it seemed odd (and the foreshadowing editors gave us way more Molly sadness than Melissa happiness, so that helps.) He got home, regretted it, wanted to take the ring back and have another chance with Molly. I’m still on board with all of this. It’s reality TV – it happens!

What I’m NOT on board with is the decision to call the producers, tell them he wants to change his mind and “psst, don’t tell Melissa – I’d rather tell her on air.” It is right here that Jason goes from being a nice single dad who’s willing to exploit his son on-air to find love and get famous, to total Ass Hole. Now I know that these girls sign up for public humiliation in exchange for the right to show the world how great they look in bikinis. Most of them keep up their end of the bargain well – frolicking in hot tubs, arguing with one another and then weeping about aging ovaries in the limo. That’s the bargain, they know it, we know it, everyone accepts it. But Melissa came to that post-show thinking she was engaged…having lived in secret with her fiancé and never actually been in public with him, she was probably excited to tell the world her good news and start having a normal relationship. But instead, he threw her under the bus big time. And why?? The one thing Chris Harrison never asked (and we’ll get to Chris in a moment) – why didn’t you just tell her two weeks ago, break up with her and come here together to tell us this news? If you are such a great guy?? Why do you have to do this on TV? And don’t give me this about “living life without regrets,” it makes me physically ill.

So then, there’s Molly. Who (taken at face value) was very surprised by all this and starts by asking “What about Melissa?” I was proud of her for those 30 seconds that she worried about his fiancé left in the dust, and for a moment I liked Molly. Then she said, what the hell, it’s a competition and I guess I won! And decided to fall back in love. At the very least, question the motives of why dumping Melissa had to take place on air, Molly! But no, she just embraced and looked at him wide-eyed with her ridiculous headband hair do and then it was over.

So here are my lingering questions:

-         Melissa, I know you supposedly didn’t know this was coming, but even in shock, why on earth would you give back that ring, which the cheap-ass didn’t buy himself anyway, Neil Lane supplied it?? At least keep the ring, Sweetie. And please, please resist the temptation to become the next Bachelorette. Please.

 

-         Chris Harrison – are you pleased with yourself? You are complicit in this. Yes there are producers but we don’t know who they are. We know you. We LIKE you. We TRUST you, Harrison. To look with sympathy on the fallen bachelorettes, to tell us when it is indeed the final rose, to warn us not to miss the most dramatic rose ceremonies ever. That trust is broken, now that we’ve seen you invite Melissa out, then Molly, asking leading questions before whamming them with the truth. I am disappointed.'

 

-         Molly – have you no pride? I hope when you see that the world does not love your bachelor anymore, you will turn away as well. You deserve better. You’re very pretty, despite your abnormally chubby cheeks last night and the horrible hair choice you made.

 

-         Jason – can you please stop insulting us by implying this was the only way you could follow your heart and just admit that you wanted to be famous, let the producers talk you into being a dick and didn’t give it a second thought? Whether it was recent or from the beginning, you gave away your right to believe you are a decent human being by being part of this.

 

-         Producers – I am choosing not to believe the Us Weekly story from last week that stated that you were flying Molly out to see Jason on Melissa’s off weekends, and that the switcheroo was the plan from the beginning. Mostly because if I believe that then I’ll be the biggest sucker ever.

As for tonight’s show – is he proposing to Molly? And how do I stop myself from watching since I really don’t want to be a part of this anymore!!??

Summertime Blues

TV is slim pickins these days. But here’s what I’m watching:

-          Instant Star. I am a sucker for this stupid show on The N. (formerly of Noggin, now it’s its own channel just for teens!) Instant Star follows Degrassi and is Canadian. It’s a half hour of pure cheese about a teen American Idol like pop sensation and her ups and downs with her hot producer, former boy-bander little Tommy Q. I own two soundtracks and can’t wait for the season four version to come out. I’m a total nerd.

-          Nashville Star. I love Jewel and hate John Rich and the other guy most the time. Billy Ray Cyrus makes Ryan Seacrest look like a genius. And these performers have no polish whatsoever. But I like the country tunes and I kind of enjoy that they may come out and sound like crap. And some of them are really likable!

-          House. I’m in reruns of House because I missed it during the season. I see why people thought it was a little crowded, but only three episodes in, I am enjoying the new cast of characters.

-          Greek. Well I was watching it but it’s already done for the summer. How disappointing. Because it brings me a lot of joy.

-          Battlestar Galactica. My attention is waning. I hate to say it, but it’s true. But we’re so close to the end I’m committed. Make it worth my while!!

-          The News and The Weather Channel. Not a lot, but way more than I used to. See why I’m feeling so old? No wonder I counter it with The N.

I can’t wait for Mad Men to start – late July. And I will watch more Kathy Griffin.  But summer TV is bad!

 

Always Check the Background

 I’m in PR. I get that the background of the TV shot is just as important as what’s being said. And with an absurd number of people still thinking Barak Obama is a Muslim, I understand the impulse to not let the women with scarves sit behind him on TV. Of course, I also wouldn’t have let these texting Abercrombie frat boy douches stand behind him to personify the young voter ready for change. But that’s just me.

Hate Can Drain You

 And yet, Spencer and Heidi continue to exist. So what can I do? These days the ladies of VHI are just as bad to me as Speidi.

·          Denise Richards. I always thought she was hot, and trashy, but that’s OK. And all the crap with Charlie Sheen – well it’s Charlie Sheen, she should know better. But we can’t  possibly imagine he’s innocent in all this. Even stealing Richie Sambora away from “best friend” Heather Locklear. They were split up already, and who really cares. So even after all of that, I didn’t hate Denise Richards. And then she went and did the stupid reality show. In all fairness I’ve never watched it. And from what I understand the kids are hardly in it. But it’s impossible to be right in the argument that you should put your kids on a trashy reality show when you have already put them through a ridiculous divorce. And ever since she started down this stupid show path, I hate her.

 

·         Dina and Ali Lohan. Speaking of terrible parenting…Dina Lohan inspires hatred in me as well. I’ve been watching reality shows since they came along, so I don’t mind people who nakedly want to be famous. But it’s way worse to me here. They are so jealous of their daughter/sister they can’t stand it. And Lindsay these days…not exactly the coattails you want to be riding to the top.

Best Shows of 2007

I'm a little late on this but I still have many opinions on the television of 2007. Here are my favorites.

1 - 30 Rock. If I come home from vacation or just a night away, it's the first show I watch on the TiVo, and also the one I just can't delete because future viewings are so necessary. Tracy Jordan is hilarious. Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey, it goes without saying. But Jane Krakowski and Kenneth surprise me all the time.

2 - Friday Night Lights. If I can paraphrase Jack Nicholson, Friday Night Lights makes me want to be a better person. Everything about it makes me feel like life is sad and wonderful and full of potential and heartbreaking at the same time. I willing to admit this might be partially caused by the fact that the show is on Friday nights now, and so is generally enjoyed with a bottle of wine. But that doesn't make it any less wonderful.

3. Dancing With the Stars. Still brings me such joy. I know! It's weird!

4. Rescue Me. I get behind on watching it because it's usually slightly devastating. But never disappointing.

5. How I Met Your Mother. I find myself telling stories or using quotes about this show more than just about any other.

6. Dirty Sexy Money. I love every one of those crazy Darlings and the smirk that Peter Krause gives them, and us, all the time.

7. The Office. I love it. But it's better in small doses. All those hour-long episodes were a bit much for me, espeically now that there's a writers strike and we won't have any episodes forever. Poor planning, peeps.

8. Gossip Girl. Mostly it makes me miss The O.C. But I still like hot people in dramatic romantic situations. Especially when they are in limos or couture.

9. Battlestar Galactica. I'm a geek! But as this mystery (or is it mythology) around the cylons gets deeper, I'm just hooked more and more.

10. Chuck. This show makes me smile. It's funny and dramatic and romantic and a great passer of time. Far more relaxing an hour than it's Monday night companion, Heroes. 

honorable mentions:

NCIS -- still love Tony

Big Brother -- would you prefer I spent the summer doing crack?

Survivor China -- anti climatic but intriguing

Project Runway -- still love those designs

Amazing Race -- hate the bickering jen and the mean asian dad enough to keep watching

Deal or No Deal -- especially this episode I'm watching right now -- with COREY FELDMAN!

Aliens In America -- it's made me laugh out loud

Pushing Daisies -- i wish i'd watched it more, but what i've seen i've really liked

Scrubs -- a classic

Just When You Think It Can't Get More Humiliating...

Yes, I'm still watching the Bachelor. And for those of you that thought nothing could be worse than last season's triathalon competition (run and bike in short shorts for the chance to marry a military man!), I offer up tonight's comedy improv moment where six girls were instructed to act like a dog and beg for a rose. There is officially no dignity left.

What Tyra Taught Me Today

1. Success is about consistency.

2. Walk with some confidence -- even if you fake it. "Yo -- I've got a Vogue Covah."

3. It's hard to overcome a bad first impression. Especially if you were dressed like a tramp during that first impression.

4. You can fight against being the girl next door.

5. The elongation of the neck = elegance.

6. Believe in yourself!

7. Pretty ears aren't everything.

Jim Halpert is Multiplying Like Gizmo

  I like Jim Halpert. The floppy hair and the tie and the aw shucks demeanor but with cute funny underneath. And I've never thought of him as a dork. I don't really think he's that hot, either. But he's likable enough to have earned a few web sites in his honor, I'm sure.

So I watched Chuck the other night, I liked it but more on that in a second. This guy is such a doppelganger for Jim Halpert, only not quite as smooth and without the high powered job. They look the same, with the same outfit and the same hair and the same unassuming demeanor. Granted Chuck is not funny exactly (at least not on purpose). And he plays the whole thing much more nerdy than Jim. But I can see him pestering a Dwight to amuse himself if needed.

Later on I watched Aliens in America. The kid there has this Jim Halpert thing going on as well. OK, he's a kid so he's not in a suit. But its the floppy haired dopey doe eyed thing in a teen. He's even geekier than Chuck, but again with potential. (And I'm so down with TV and how it operates I won't even talk about how this nice cute kid would not be such a loser.) Alright, admittedly, Jim Halpert wasn't the first of the doe eyed floppy hairs. If Chuck were brunette and in scrubs he'd be playing Zach Braff. But he's not. So there you go.

Show Reviews

"Chuck" - Two episodes in and I am still enamored of this show. I like the premise and how it makes no sense whatsoever! Basically Chuck's brain turned into a supercomputer after his old college roommate emailed him all of the NSA and CIA secrets. He remembers it all but isn't sure how to access the info. I really enjoy the NSA agent (tough guy casey) and CIA agent (hot girl Sarah) who have to work side by side with Chuck undercover to protect him and/or kill him at a moment's notice. The tone is really goofy and fun, and its funny to me that its just assumed that these two gov't agencies are gonna kill at will at this point. Chuck has a sister (Madison from Everwood and Marjorie from What About Brian). She rocks. I kind of wish she was the love interest because she rocks that much. But the blonde CIA gal is cute too. She has a fiance known as Captain Awesome, since he's really awesome...lots of other nerdy best buy buddies abound. So its part family comedy (sister is always trying to set up brother) part coming of age (Chuck still talks about his college girlfriend all the time, five years later) and mostly goofy CIA spoof. Watch it, you'll like it.

"Aliens In America" - I really liked this show. But comedy shows are so short who knows if it will be good or suck in the end. Like all the reviews say, it's  spoofing American ignorance and racism, not celebrating it. But the first episode was really sweet and funny. I like the lead character (Justin) so much, especially in his "becoming friends" montage with the Pakistani, where they told secrets and Justin demonstrated how he practices kissing on his hand. The sister and her announcements like "I need to go on the pill. And my new boyfriend's coming over. He's part of it." (I'm paraphrasing.) The parents are OK. The mom is a little fake at first. And Luke, without a spatula? So far he's just playing grumpy, and it works ok. But he's definitely blending into the background for now. I've read that episode 2 is a big let down, but I like this first one enough I'll give it a few more chances.

Private Practice is a Total Disaster

It has: Unrealistic medical dramas that start and end too abruptly and take place in places like a camping store. Immature doctors. And an immature and kind of annoying Addison. But mostly a weird coop idea with holistic medicine men and midwifes and all that business. Are we seriously supposed to believe that Addison Montgomery Shepherd, a woman who is at the forefront of the field of OB/GYN-ness and surgery, would take this next step without even thinking about it? That she'd join this bunch of doctors who don't want her and have no staff and treat one patient a day? And that she'd leave behind McSteamy and his showers and Alex and his closet trysts for...well, OK, Tim Daly and Taye Diggs and even the other one, Cooper, isn't exactly tradin' down. But I hope its true that the chief in Seattle is keeping her job open for her. This show is not long for this world and I hope she can come on back to Seattle Grace. The most disturbing thing to me, as I alluded to on the emmy post, is the way they are making Addison act like some ditzy ingenue. She's not Meredith Grey -- who's a cute young girl allowed to be self indulgent and dance around. We love her because she's a tough grown woman who has deeper layers underneath. There was one scene -- the last one -- that she got to act like someone you would respect and fear and then ultimately become besties with. And I hope we get to see more of that. Dancing around nude is all well and good, but it has to be combined with the rest of what we like about Addison. That's all. I guess there is one bright side -- no talking elevator. (And know, I'm not on the side of Pix just because Veronica Mars is no longer in the picture. Logan and Veronica forever!!)